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                                             . . . it has always been thus
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The Commodore's Crow's Nest - January, 2012

The Commodore's Crow's Nest by Commodore Bob Andrews is a new twist on the Commodore's Corner since your new commodore has bad memories of sitting in a corner too often as a child.

Happy New Year from the Commodore's Crow's Nest! It's a virtual crow's nest, actually a Barcolounger equipped with a MacBook Air to capture the random rants of a pirate reachin for his first Social Security Check. My thanks to all who attended the Christmas Party, especially those who helped set up and decorate the Marzuq facility. As Vice Commodore I want you to know you elected a party weenie as Commodore. I bailed right after the crustacean frenzy. So I want to heap more praise on those party animals who stayed to the end, who cleaned up the chaos and who dragged all the party food and favors the very next day to the Point for a Festivus Celebration that couldn't be beat.

The gathering for Festivus at Shell Point has taken on a life and legend far beyond what the Seinfeld writers ever envisioned. There's the bonfire, though it was quite warm this year. There's always more food. There are tales told of past feats of strength and reappearances of past feets. Then there's the cult of martini sippers with their 2 blue-cheese stuffed olives and their fancy plastic or stainless steel martini stemwear and their ritual 3 toasts with multi-lingual salutes to top shelf gin and the ecstasy of consumption. There was a unusual airing of grievances by Nigel Chapin. Other stuff happened that could only be attributed as Festivus miracles. Then there was the Vice Commodore to Commodore challenge, an event with the promise of creativity where the Vice must devise a contest that only he can win. This year socked poles, sailboards strapped precariously to skateboards and a very short stretch of Beatty Taff Rd set the scene for a race that wasn't much of a race. Neither competitor could keep his skating sailboard on course. Neither competitor could stay on his board for more than a few seconds at a time. Ultimately the race was called with half the course still ahead of us. I was ahead by several feet at the time when I, totally exhausted by all the sock poling, cajoled Bill into accepting either defeat or another year at the helm of SPSC. He looked longingly at the Past Commodore's lounge and the rest is history.

Submitted with some liberties taken as to truth and accuracy, Bob Andrews, Commodore

Tiki Mon V

As Tiki Mon V, I have been where the action is. Bob A’s Christmas Party was spectacular! I was wearing a stylish set of Christmas lights and my usual Santa Hat that my staff prepared for me. I watched over the dance floor most of the evening then finally got dragged – literally – onto the floor where I did my best dance moves with some lovely waheenees. As always the paparazzi was there snapping shots of me in action. Check them out on facebook (while you “friend” me, the only Tiki with a facebook page).

It was a busy weekend as Festivus was the next day. I showed up wearing the same outfit as I had on the night before. I was left in the backseat of the car overnight all by myself!!! The day won’t come fast enough when I get auctioned off at the Smith Regatta to a true connoisseur of fine art and get treated with some respect!! Hey Stan, what’s a Tiki gotta do to get his picture in the auction items online for this year?

The traditional changing of the commodores was exciting. Looked to me to be a mix of Extreme Sports and an episode of Wipeout/MXC Game Show.

Sunset martinis are always special. Another festivity is the waheenee Festivus pole climbing. She made it all the way to the top and then got her martini. Interesting. The burning of the unborn tikis always makes me nervous but it keeps us warm and is festive.

Now my staff and I will prepare for a week of sailing, rest and relaxation in Fiesta Key.

Club Meeting Minutes for December 2011

Well, as y’all know, there was NO club meeting for December. Instead, our Commodore at the time, his highness Bill Olson, decided to hold the Board meeting on the club meeting date. I tell you, the power that man wielded during his reign, and, yes, some called a reign of WTF?!?!, had never before been seen.

So, what transpired during the Club meeting that didn’t occur. Just because we weren’t there does not mean that things didn’t happen. You know the old axiom; if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there does it make a sound? Same holds for this club, a force of nature by itself. If the club holds a meeting and no one is there, does anything get done? Of course, many of us ask if the club holds a meeting and everyone is there, does anything get done. The answer is a resounding and emphatic SOMETIMES!

My job as scribe, even though I wasn’t there, is to discern what may have taken place.

Tina requested a budget of $5,000 for training. Mark Voigt, ever the free spender, suggested a budget of $10,000. Even though we don’t have that kind of money, he suggested various fundraisers such as concerts by Swami and the Festoons. He is open to suggestions on how to raise the remaining $9,999 after the concert. Someone suggested the band members’ auction their equipment.

A motion was made to extend the term of the Commodores reign from the current one year to four years starting in 2012. All were in favor of this move with one nay by Bob A.

Lots of discussion took place as to who Bob A. and Bob G. are. Coming up, you lucky people, we will be talking about two new Board members, Mark V. and Mark P. That discussion is for another time. Back to the Bobs. If you discerned that Bob G. stood for Bob the Great, you were correct. You also haven’t met him. Bob G. was once Commodore Bob the Great. By the end of his term it was Bob the Get out of here. Our new Commodore is Bob A. I was thinking with a second Bob coming up as Commodore, he would be Commodore Bob the second, but alas, I was wrong. He is, and forever shall be known as Commodore Bob Augustus with Bugle (you’ll see!). So, for short, Commodore Bob Augustus with Bugle will also be known as BAB.

The Purser, being in the holiday spirit, took out his checkbook and said, “Drinks on the club account!” Of course, with no one there, our club account didn’t take much of a hit.

The sad thing is the meeting is still going on because no one was there to ask for an adjournment. Please, at the start of the next meeting, if someone could please ask for an adjournment of the previous one that would be great. All kinds of stuff could happen without anyone there.

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