The Commodore's Crow's Nest - January, 2012
The Commodore's Crow's Nest by Commodore Bob Andrews is a
new twist on the Commodore's Corner since your new commodore
has bad memories of sitting in a corner too often as a child.
Happy New Year from the Commodore's Crow's Nest! It's a
virtual crow's nest, actually a Barcolounger equipped with
a MacBook Air to capture the random rants of a pirate reachin
for his first Social Security Check. My thanks to all who
attended the Christmas
Party, especially those who helped set up and decorate
the Marzuq facility. As Vice Commodore I want you to know
you elected a party weenie as Commodore. I bailed right
after the crustacean frenzy. So I want to heap more praise
on those party animals who stayed to the end, who cleaned
up the chaos and who dragged all the party food and favors
the very next day to the Point for a Festivus Celebration
that couldn't be beat.
The gathering for Festivus
at Shell Point has taken on a life and legend far beyond
what the Seinfeld writers ever envisioned. There's the bonfire,
though it was quite warm this year. There's always more
food. There are tales told of past feats of strength and
reappearances of past feets. Then there's the cult of martini
sippers with their 2 blue-cheese stuffed olives and their
fancy plastic or stainless steel martini stemwear and their
ritual 3 toasts with multi-lingual salutes to top shelf
gin and the ecstasy of consumption. There was a unusual
airing of grievances by Nigel Chapin. Other stuff happened
that could only be attributed as Festivus miracles. Then
there was the Vice Commodore to Commodore challenge, an
event with the promise of creativity where the Vice must
devise a contest that only he can win. This year socked
poles, sailboards strapped precariously to skateboards and
a very short stretch of Beatty Taff Rd set the scene for
a race that wasn't much of a race. Neither competitor could
keep his skating
sailboard on course. Neither competitor could stay on his
board for more than a few seconds at a time. Ultimately
the race was called with half the course still ahead of
us. I was ahead by several feet at the time when I, totally
exhausted by all the sock poling, cajoled Bill into accepting
either defeat or another year at the helm of SPSC. He looked
longingly at the Past Commodore's lounge and the rest is
Submitted with some liberties taken as to truth
and accuracy, Bob Andrews, Commodore
Tiki Mon V
|As Tiki Mon V, I have been where the
action is. Bob A’s Christmas Party was spectacular!
I was wearing a stylish set of Christmas lights and
my usual Santa Hat that my staff prepared for me. I
watched over the dance floor most of the evening then
finally got dragged – literally – onto the
floor where I did my best dance moves with some lovely
waheenees. As always the paparazzi was there snapping
shots of me in action. Check them out on facebook
(while you “friend” me, the only Tiki with
a facebook page).
It was a busy weekend as Festivus was the next day.
I showed up wearing the same outfit as I had on the
night before. I was left in the backseat of the car
overnight all by myself!!! The day won’t come
fast enough when I get auctioned off at the Smith
Regatta to a true connoisseur of fine art and get
treated with some respect!! Hey Stan, what’s
a Tiki gotta do to get his picture in the auction
items online for this year?
The traditional changing of the commodores was exciting.
Looked to me to be a mix of Extreme Sports and an
episode of Wipeout/MXC Game Show.
Sunset martinis are always special. Another festivity
is the waheenee Festivus pole climbing. She made it
all the way to the top and then got her martini. Interesting.
The burning of the unborn tikis always makes me nervous
but it keeps us warm and is festive.
Now my staff and I will prepare for a week of sailing,
rest and relaxation in Fiesta Key.
Club Meeting Minutes for December 2011
Well, as y’all know, there was NO club meeting for December.
Instead, our Commodore at the time, his highness Bill Olson, decided
to hold the Board meeting on the club meeting date. I tell you,
the power that man wielded during his reign, and, yes, some called
a reign of WTF?!?!, had never before been seen.
So, what transpired during the Club meeting that didn’t
occur. Just because we weren’t there does not mean that
things didn’t happen. You know the old axiom; if a tree
falls in the forest and no one is there does it make a sound?
Same holds for this club, a force of nature by itself. If the
club holds a meeting and no one is there, does anything get done?
Of course, many of us ask if the club holds a meeting and everyone
is there, does anything get done. The answer is a resounding and
My job as scribe, even though I wasn’t there, is to discern
what may have taken place.
Tina requested a budget of $5,000 for training. Mark Voigt, ever
the free spender, suggested a budget of $10,000. Even though we
don’t have that kind of money, he suggested various fundraisers
such as concerts by Swami and the Festoons. He is open to suggestions
on how to raise the remaining $9,999 after the concert. Someone
suggested the band members’ auction their equipment.
A motion was made to extend the term of the Commodores reign from
the current one year to four years starting in 2012. All were
in favor of this move with one nay by Bob A.
Lots of discussion took place as to who Bob A. and Bob G. are.
Coming up, you lucky people, we will be talking about two new
Board members, Mark V. and Mark P. That discussion is for another
time. Back to the Bobs. If you discerned that Bob G. stood for
Bob the Great, you were correct. You also haven’t met him.
Bob G. was once Commodore Bob the Great. By the end of his term
it was Bob the Get out of here. Our new Commodore is Bob A. I
was thinking with a second Bob coming up as Commodore, he would
be Commodore Bob the second, but alas, I was wrong. He is, and
forever shall be known as Commodore Bob Augustus with Bugle (you’ll
see!). So, for short, Commodore Bob Augustus with Bugle will also
be known as BAB.
The Purser, being in the holiday spirit, took out his checkbook
and said, “Drinks on the club account!” Of course,
with no one there, our club account didn’t take much of
The sad thing is the meeting is still going on because no one
was there to ask for an adjournment. Please, at the start of the
next meeting, if someone could please ask for an adjournment of
the previous one that would be great. All kinds of stuff could
happen without anyone there.